Unacknowledged Expectations

My moment of realization came when I was sitting around our prayer circle, heads bowed. In an instant I became aware of my sin. My shoulders collapsed inward in embarrassment. I, who had so boldly came on this trip alone, who had proudly thought I had eluded the temptation of putting my expectations on God. How devious the human heart is. Unaware as my brain appeared to be, some where in the depths of me I had thoughts on how this trip ought to look. Don't I deserve it? ( I am sure was part of my hearts rationale.) Irregardless of the how and why- I was disappointed, and disappointment can only come if an expectation isn't met.

There were hard lessons to face and learn this weekend. I saw Christ in the faces and actions of those where I least expected it. They, so much more then I , were loving and seeing as Christ does. And as my blinders fell off my eyes I witnessed a beauty I had overlooked, I had brushed off. The sting has worn away- but the image still plays in my mind, as I am sure God intended.