trust me

Do you ever get the feeling that your suppose to be silent, or immerse yourself into the Word or be alone with the Lord-and you react by doing or being the exact opposite? Its as if my senses picked up that a moment, or lesson or undesired truth would be revealed to me if I did as my heart was telling me to do. So simple acts of disobedience commence. These last few days have been that for me. Little acts of rebellion against an all powerful God. Its so silly really. He only wants whets best for me-and I run the other way. Our heavenly Father's patience is greater then I can comprehend.

Perhaps it is Christmas time, or the boy I really want to be excited about but am not, maybe its because I 'm 29. I don't know the cause that induced my prayers tonight, they just poured out. I only had to turn down the noise of life, open God's Word and stay.

For as many years back as I can clearly define, two seemingly different dreams have held my heart. Try as I may I don't see how the two can be parallel in existence. And as much as it seems impossible to chose, it begins to seem even more impossible that either will come true. Beyond a doubt I trust God's timing. Beyond a doubt I know His interest, His understanding, His Will always equals perfection. What I don't understand is why these dreams of mine are never changing, despite the impossibility that lays before them.

One of the glories of God is that even as I pen my frustration He holds my heart and utters "trust me." And I do. For a moment. And then in my weakness I struggle again.